Are you preparing to fail?

I said to somebody this morning during a networking coffee that I don't like to ask for help. I’ve learned how to ask over the years, but it’s not something that comes naturally.  I fall back into old patterns sometimes, heroically efforting through stuff. 

Help takes many forms.   Sometimes it’s another perspective.  A sympathetic ear. A helping hand.  A hug. 

When I do ask for help or support, it’s such a relief.

I’m wired to be productive and to go fast.  I love getting shit done!  

The problem is, when I’m going that fast, I’m actually SLOW.   Slow to recognize when I could benefit from help.  I try to power through and shoulder the whole load.

I remember being in Grade 11.  I was 16 and struggling with Physics.  It just didn’t make obvious sense to my creative, language-loving brain.   I was adequate in Math and would literally will my way to understanding it.   I enjoyed the black-and-whiteness of it when compared to language and conceptual studies.   But Physics was a different story.  It didn’t compute.  

So I hired a tutor.   All in my own power!  I went to the school office, asked for some names, and phoned around. On a corded phone!  Then I drove myself to that tutor’s house every week in my mom’s Pinto (!) to get help. 

As I walked the dog this morning, the disconnect hit me.  I say I don’t like to ask for help, and yet I DID in this case!  

I asked myself:  What was it about that context that enabled me to seek out assistance from an expert?  

It was this:  something important was at stake.  Something = Good Results.   I wasn’t expecting excellent results.  I’m realistic after all.  But I was not prepared to fail simply because I hadn’t done everything I could.  

BAM!  

Funny how these insights hit us.   So what’s the implication here?     

I realize I have an opportunity to keep growing in this area, to start noticing earlier -  when I’m pushing too hard - all alone - before the stakes are so high.  I can ask myself this question:

What kind of help could I ask for NOW to help me get even better results with less overwhelm?