Does it get easier?

 I remember watching the movie “Lost in Translation” with Bill Murray and Scarlett Johanansen a few years ago.  There’s a scene where Scarjo and Bill are lying on a bed and she says “I’m stuck.”  

The way she says it is so perfect - slightly puzzled, slightly resigned.  

I remember being in the same boat at the time I watched it.  Feeling like I was stuck in mud.   Starting to realize that I didn’t want things to stay how they were, but not completely sure about what I wanted to do about it.

It’s a lack of clarity that makes you feel stuck - that creates a sense of inertia.  That’s why learning to figure out what’s really going on deep down is so essential for all of us. It helps us create forward momentum and make things happen.

 🍏The thing is, you’re not always ready for clarity.  For instance, last year I was in deep grief after losing my dad. It impaired my vision, my productivity, my sense of self.   And yet, that’s ok.  I can’t deny it was really hard when I was in it - man, did I want some clarity back then! - but it’s where I was meant to be.  It was survival mode.   I had to prune back all the extras, and focus just on the basics.  Taking on new coaching clients was not on the table.   Designing new programs and writing consistently - nope.

This week I’ve been talking with prospective participants for my new group coaching experience: You [Reframed].  And while some would be a great fit for the program - and I hope they join us! - one isn’t quite ready yet for coaching - she truly doesn’t have the capacity or focus or energy right now to put the work in and do the deep thinking.   But will she be a fit for the next cohort - likely, yes!  

Another person clearly wants to join the program.   She needs it and it needs her.  She’s ready. But she’s been through a lot at work recently and her energy is low. She’s worried she isn’t ready.  And yet - she knows she could create the capacity and focus needed for the program.  It's just feeling WORTH IT enough to give herself permission to say yes that is holding her back.  As far as energy, I am willing to bet the experience would GIVE her back the energy her current situation is taking away.

 🍏 What about you?  Are you stuck?  If yes, is that perhaps right where you NEED to be?  Or could it be time to start giving yourself the support and permission to step out of the mud and back into clarity?

In the movie, right after this important line that all of us end up delivering multiple times in our lives, she follows it with “Does it get easier?”

Initially, Bill’s character jokingly says “No.”  But then he goes on to deliver this nugget of wisdom:   

“Yes.  Yes it does get easier.  The more you know who you are and what you want, the less you let things upset you.”