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[00:01:36] Welcome back to Talent Management Truce. I'm your host, Lisa Mitchell. Today I'm bringing you the second of my two-part series. These episodes are all about creating what you want. Now, if you miss the first episode, no worries. This one can stand on its own. That said, feel free to head over to episode 71.
[00:02:00] If you haven't heard it yet. It's about creating results and momentum. Now, today's episode is about creating habits and follow through. , we've all heard the stats on how most New Year's resolutions fail, and multiple sources report that over 90% of habits that people try to form fail. Makes me a bit sad.
[00:02:19] I, I see myself in that stat. I'm about to get a little personal, maybe a lot personal , not unusual for me, but FairWarning anyway. over the course of the year 2020. I gained 20 pounds. The first 10 came on in the very first month of 2020 January, and you know, I hadn't changed anything that I was doing. I was eating right, I was observing di dry January even.
[00:02:46] But the pounds just emerged from the ether and globbed onto my aging menopausal. there. I said it. No, don't worry, I'm not about to wax poetic about the indignities of menopause. Just acknowledging that it's a very real phenomenon in middle age and for many women turns their bodies into something they no longer recognize.
[00:03:07] Well, I kept eating right. I didn't snack a lot to start with, and I don't eat a lot of junk, but the weight just kept creeping on. And, and then, you know, COVID my business lost. Most of its booked revenue. In a single week, and then my dad got sick and then he died. So the stress mounted and so did the reading on the scale.
[00:03:28] My body was literally, it seemed digging in its heels, going into full protection and preservation mode. So I tried different approaches. , but I probably didn't try that hard or for very long because none of these approaches seemed to give me much success. And you know, even the more reasonable ones didn't stick without tangible results, I'd simply give up and go back to the status quo.
[00:03:51] Eventually I realized that part of my issue was that I felt alone in my fight. You know, I think I look back and I was feeling embarrassed and my self image had been impacted, so I didn't seek the, the support that I needed, and that realization made all the difference. I started seeking out a. Other inputs, information, books, people, programs.
[00:04:15] I started to experiment more, to practice more. I also adjusted my expectations so that I wasn't crushed. If one experiment didn't pay off like I had been before, I would simply reflect on the learning and move on to the next experiment. . For instance, last summer I started to follow the N S N G lifestyle with Rob.
[00:04:35] This is no sugar, no grains. I know it seems extreme, but we actually really like it. I dropped quite a few pounds and felt great. Then I tried a super strict keto diet program that I don't really recommend, and I found the super strict part is not for me, but the keto part mostly is, and I lost a. when 2023 arrived, I found myself avoiding, you know, my usual goal setting exercise.
[00:04:59] You know, it's very detailed and intense. I, I usually do it for both myself personally and for my business. But this year, you know, I had this desire to be in flow and that detailed intensity just didn't seem to fit with the idea of. You know, I did a lot of reflection and I worked with my coach and I got clear around the fact that I want to become a woman who takes exquisite care of herself.
[00:05:25] So I actually say this to myself a lot. Now I am a woman who takes exquisite care of herself, and if I am that woman, then, then my actions need to line up with that, with that statement, with that identity. So that meant putting myself first in my. Literally now I kind of laugh at that because historically I've never been a morning person, so I've always thought, oh, wouldn't it be amazing if I could get up at the crack of stupid as my old friend Erin Davis, who was a radio host I loved, she used to say, get up at the crack of stupid.
[00:06:00] And I, I thought, oh, it'd be great if I could do that and, you know, work out and, and start my day off. Just get so much done before, you know, the sun rises, but that's not really me getting. Early is hard for me. It seriously is and I, it's just the way it is. I've spent years bemoaning the fact and berating myself for it, and so much so that I, it created this confusion around where I was gonna fit in my exercise routine beyond, you know, short dog walk and that kind of thing.
[00:06:30] So five or 6:00 PM seemed for a non morning person. Seemed like a good I idea on paper that, you know, I hit the treadmill and the boflex downstairs and I did, you know, I'd have several weeks where I did it really regularly and then, and then I would just fall off again from this. and you know, what I found was by five or six o'clock my, my body clock, my mind clock is such that I'd really be in my flow zone work-wise and I'd miss my chance to go work out bef before all of a sudden it was, Hey, it was time to get dinner going and get out to my son's TaeKwonDo practice.
[00:07:05] on the days I swore, okay, this time I'm really gonna get up at 6:00 AM to work out. Before work, I would hit that snooze button like I was a world snooze champion justifying to myself that, Hey, I'm, I, I just, I just need a bit more sleep. You know, I had a, I had a, I had a rough sleep. And, well, the sleep fact actually for me is true.
[00:07:26] Medically speaking, it had also become an excuse that kept me from imagining other alternative. . Well, one day I was journaling and I realized that putting myself and my health first figuratively meant that I needed and wanted to find a way to move my body at the beginning of my day and to move it in a more intensive way that really got my heart rate going, revved up my metabolism.
[00:07:51] So I needed to do that and, and not try to do it and fail most of the time by putting it as an afterthought at the end of the day where I usually didn't even follow. . So with my new outlook and openness to experimentation in practice, lo and behold, I actually tuned in when two of my friends were talking about a gym they had joined.
[00:08:14] Now funny enough, it's the same gym my sister has gone to for two years, but I never once considered joining it when she talked about it or when she posted her latest workout results on Insta. So after telling myself and everyone else for years that I am not a gym person, I surprised myself and I signed up for the two week trial and I went seven times in that two week period trying to experience as many of the circuit type workouts that I could.
[00:08:44] At first I was terrified. I really was. I told, I told the the coaches that my first day after that I was bewildered, bewildered by the pace, and there, there were so many new moves and so much equipment and this really loud music that wasn't kind of my kind of music. I had never really heard it before. So I also tried getting up at 6:00 AM to go do it and I, and, and I found it just as hard as I always.
[00:09:09] but I kept reminding myself that I was on a learning curve here and that I needed to figure out a way, you know, that it could work for me, if it could work for me. So instead of 6:00 AM I tried 7:00 AM I got up at 7:00 AM I went for the seven 30 workout. And guess what? it fit. I felt great. No problems.
[00:09:28] Plus, the other thing is I kept reminding myself that, you know, I had two full weeks to decide so I could wait. You know, I could, I could defer my decision. And that really helped me just focus on doing it, on trying it. So what did I find out? I love it. And why do I love it? Well, because as James Clear says in Atomic Habits, , it's, it's a habit that's doable for me because it's attractive, it's easy, and it's satisfying.
[00:10:02] This gym is within 10 minutes of my house. I can leave my house at seven 15, have an intense 45 minute workout, and bam, I'm done and home by eight 30. , there's variety. I, I need variety. There are coaches helping me modify all the moves to suit my, my capabilities. I have arthritis in my hands. There's certain things I can't do.
[00:10:24] They're great. There are TV screens and live training partners that I can follow to get the moves right. And there's a team feeling in the room. We're all doing our best and nobody's looking at each other. There's no mirrors. You know, we're just focused on the movement. The time flies. I'm really noticing my progress as my confidence grows and I feel stronger.
[00:10:45] And best thing as I drive home, I'm cresting on a wave of euphoria at having accomplished my most essential activity for the day already. And that's being, you know, taking exquisite care of. , so some of my little tricks to make sure I don't hit that snooze , after a lifetime of suffering with this, well, for one thing, I really do like going.
[00:11:10] Secondly, I bought some really comfy workout tights that don't dig in or shift while I'm exercising, so I'm not distracted by that. Thirdly, I prep my water bottle, my shoes, my car keys, and my hairband the night. They're ready to go. No looking for them, but mainly I focus on the outcome, that feeling of euphoria after I finish that workout.
[00:11:32] I think about that as I'm driving to the gym. The other key is remembering that it's all an experiment. I'm not married to this gym. I can change my mind. I can do something else if I want to. Right now though, it's right. , but this permission to change if and when I want, makes it easier to keep going.
[00:11:52] Right now, I am not telling myself that I'm locked in, that it's all or nothing, and that, my friends is, is what's key to creating habits and follow through. It's this experimentation and, and realizing it's not a zero sum gain. the habit and follow through that I'm creating here is around my attention to my health and wellbeing.
[00:12:14] Putting these first, that's my why. You know, health is wealth and all of that, and if I decide I can later do this from home or a different gym, that's fine. While we do want habits and the ability to follow through consistently, to be automatic or habitual, taking your time to discover what will make it stick for you is.
[00:12:38] If you found yourself relating to this story and you wanna create some powerful new habits, personally or at work, you will find one-on-one coaching to be a game changer, and it's included in the talent trust. Maybe you should join us. I'm just saying. Thanks so much for listening.
